The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.