Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Making waves on Instagram:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Going viral on Telegram:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Trending via Telegram:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Why settle for a nerve-racking experience when you can have a nerve-tingling one instead? 😉😂 #TheGoodNerves"

adult, adult humor, cheeky, humor, joke, nerf, nerve, nerve sensitivity, sensitivity, sex, sex joke, sexuality, wit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

27 shares on Instagram this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Breaking via Telegram:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Breaking via X:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Just shared via Facebook:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨