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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Trending via Snapchat:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Spotted on Reddit:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Live now on Instagram:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Spotted on Facebook:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Just landed via Twitch:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the microwaves have declared December 26th a national day of panic! 🌪️🎄📦

after, appliance, Christmas, cooking, danger, dangerous, day, holiday, microwave, morning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

0

2 months ago

decision, employment, existing, extra, hiring, humor, job, management, office, paying, role, salary, staff, staffing, workplace
The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

0

2 months ago

accident, awkward, awkward situation, bender, car, car accident, driver, driver interaction, fender, fender bender, having, interaction, meet, meeting, new, new person, person, situation, worst
I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

0

2 months ago

closet, clothes, clothing, clothing problem, confusion, fashion, full, humor, i, problem, style, understand, wardrobe
I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

0

4 weeks ago

attitude, evil, humor, i, losing, love, me, men, personality, remind, self-reflection, sometimes, spark, thinking
You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

0

2 months ago

aging, aging humor, aging joke, bathroom, forgetfulness, getting, here, humor, i, joke, know, old, past, thinking, walk, well, while
I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

0

4 months ago

aesthetics, bed, beds, carpenter, furniture, great, humor, i, need, remember, sex, squeak, squeaking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WeChat this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

83 shares on X this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨