Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,908

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Breaking via X:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Going viral on Discord:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Just shared via X:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Going viral on Threads:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Truly a time when our phones had more flight experience than I do! 🕊️📱 #NostalgicChaos"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

0

2 months ago

anti-stress, balls, breast, breasts, device, female, humor, irony, nature, stress
Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

0

2 months ago

babe, couple, humor, joke, ok, playful, prophecy, relationship, sarcasm, witty
The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

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2 months ago

behavior, bump, even, female, female behavior, feminine, feminine urge, humor, hurt, i, ouch, pain, reaction, say, things, urge
All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

0

2 months ago

happiness, happy, humor, irony, leave, me, people, relationships, social
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

0

5 months ago

couple, humor, irony, love, married, need, ones, people, relationship, single
When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

0

2 months ago

apartment, dark, dark humor, death, dying, ghost, ghost story, haunt, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, i, me, myself, please, rush, spooky, story, supernatural, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

34 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

14 shares on Facebook this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

86 shares on Slack this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Just landed via Discord:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Just shared via Instagram:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Just shared via Threads:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨