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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Spotted on Facebook:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Just landed via Telegram:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Spotted on Slack:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Seen just now on Slack:

Life is short, flirt with me!

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Truly a time when our phones had more flight experience than I do! 🕊️📱 #NostalgicChaos"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Discord this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

89 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Shared recently on Threads:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Making waves on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People should come with warning labels.

Spotted on Slack:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Spotted on Facebook:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Live now on Messenger:

Back to the Future and chill?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Going viral on Messenger:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Mike is short for Micycle.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Mike is short for Micycle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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