Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Just landed via Telegram:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Just landed via TikTok:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Making waves on X:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Seen just now on Slack:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Going viral on Reddit:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
Who cares about a light when you're the king of the road? 🦁🚗💡

animal, car, check, check engine light, concern, engine, humor, light, lion, metaphor

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

67 shares on X this month:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Just landed via Discord:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Spotted on Discord:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Going viral on TikTok:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Shared recently on Messenger:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨