Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Making waves on Instagram:

Oh good. Another day.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Just landed via WeChat:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Making waves on Slack:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

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The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your pajamas become your new wardrobe staple, you start to blend in with the couch cushions. 🏡👀 #HomelessChic"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on X this month:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

79 shares on Threads this month:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me, date me!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Making waves on WeChat:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Trending via Instagram:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Seen just now on Discord:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Breaking via Threads:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Making waves on Slack:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

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