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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Just landed via Instagram:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Trending via Facebook:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Live now on WeChat:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Going viral on Discord:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Spotted on Messenger:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Just landed via X:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.
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Commentary:
Ah, the struggle of the old-school wired headphones… The feeling of heartbreak as your favorite song fades in and out, echoing the ups and downs of your emotions 😢 But hey, at least the younger generation won't have to experience the unique pain of untangling those pesky wires! 🎧🤦‍♂️ #BluetoothLife

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Trending via Discord:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Making waves on Twitch:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Just landed via Twitch:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Reported on WhatsApp:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

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