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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Just shared via Twitch:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Just landed via Slack:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Breaking via Telegram:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Making waves on Telegram:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Spotted on Slack:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

0
The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the struggle of the old-school wired headphones… The feeling of heartbreak as your favorite song fades in and out, echoing the ups and downs of your emotions 😢 But hey, at least the younger generation won't have to experience the unique pain of untangling those pesky wires! 🎧🤦‍♂️ #BluetoothLife

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My life coach traded me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Making waves on Threads:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Just landed via Threads:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Making waves on Discord:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Live now on Twitch:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Going viral on Discord:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

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