Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.
  • Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.
  • The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.
  • Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.
  • It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.
  • My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.