The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Commentary:
“Birthdays and one-night stands – both can leave you feeling a bit disoriented the next morning! 🎉💔 Just brush off those pesky numbers like last night’s regrettable choice and carry on ✨🥳”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.
  • I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.
  • The new American dream is an alien invasion.
  • I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.
  • Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.
  • My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.