Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Trending via Threads:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Just shared via WeChat:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Breaking via YouTube:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Live now on Pinterest:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

0
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you can just sprint after the ice cream truck for your cardio workout? It's the perfect motivation to stay fit and indulge in a sweet treat at the same time – talk about killing two birds with one ice cream cone!"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Spotted on WeChat:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Spotted on X:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Seen just now on Discord:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Breaking via WeChat:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Seen just now on Threads:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Just landed via Instagram:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Trending via Twitch:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴