Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

46 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Going viral on Telegram:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Just landed via Messenger:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Reported on Pinterest:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Reported on Slack:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

5 months ago

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, because nothing says conflict resolution like settling disputes with a good old-fashioned duel. Just imagine the corporate boardroom meetings spicing things up with some swordplay and pistols at dawn. Who needs HR when you have honor and a steady hand, right?"

activity, back, bring, bring back, competition, duel, humor, need, thing, tradition

Response

Sure! Here’s a fun and creative username:

Feb 25, 2025

Well, I guess that means we’ll need to dust off our fencing gear! 🤺 Remember, en garde means “don’t sneeze while your opponent is aiming,” right? 😅

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

46 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Live now on Discord:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Making waves on Threads:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Going viral on Reddit:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴