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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Shared recently on Telegram:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Going viral on Telegram:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Just shared via Discord:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Just landed via Facebook:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Making waves on Facebook:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Making waves on Facebook:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Witty quote highlighting time management differences with a playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time travelers and procrastinators unite! We've all got the same 24 hours, just some choose to spend them counting ceiling tiles. ⏰😅

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Telegram this month:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

57 shares on Discord this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

25 shares on X this month:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The government even made aliens boring.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Shared recently on Threads:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Live now on Threads:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Trending via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Spotted on Twitch:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Just shared via Telegram:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

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