Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about monsters under the bed when you've evicted them by making the mattress their new landlord? 😂👻 No security deposit required!"

bed, childhood, fears, floor, humor, imagination, mattress, monster, monsters, possibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

0

2 months ago

disco, fun, humor, life, music, panic, party, stress
The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

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2 months ago

common, common sense, deal, downside, frustration, having, humor, irony, lack, sense, wit
I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

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2 months ago

activity, doing, fun, fun activity, i, influence, me, motivation, need, peer, peer pressure, pressure, procrastination, self-improvement, social, social influence, someone, things
“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

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5 months ago

1990, 2003, age, both, flirting, humor, nostalgia, where, year
Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

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2 months ago

adulthood, always, humor, irony, life, sleep, sleepy, struggle, tiredness, trying, welcome
My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

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3 months ago

chores, done, even, humor, i, keep, laundry, laziness, machine, procrastination, want, washing, washing machine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Facebook this month:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

85 shares on Threads this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Shared recently on YouTube:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Trending via WhatsApp:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Going viral on Twitch:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Just landed via Telegram:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Breaking via Twitch:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨