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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Just landed via Instagram:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Trending via Discord:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Spotted on Facebook:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

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The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.
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Commentary:
"Oh, the art of bamboozling with a sprinkle of cunning! 🤫💁‍♂️ Oversharing a buffet of trivial tidbits to distract from the vault of deep secrets? Masterful strategy or just pure genius? 🤔🔒 Either way, it's all fun and games until the important info remains under lock and key! 🗝️😄 #SneakyButStylish"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

26 shares on Instagram this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

79 shares on Threads this month:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

91 shares on X this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This whole week could have been an email.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only dead on the outside.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Just landed via Telegram:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Just landed via Slack:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Just landed via Slack:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Going viral on Threads:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

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