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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

51 minutes ago

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Making waves on Discord:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Going viral on WeChat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Trending via YouTube:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Breaking via Facebook:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Just shared via X:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Jan 26, 2025

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

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Commentary:
"Oh, the art of bamboozling with a sprinkle of cunning! 🤫💁‍♂️ Oversharing a buffet of trivial tidbits to distract from the vault of deep secrets? Masterful strategy or just pure genius? 🤔🔒 Either way, it's all fun and games until the important info remains under lock and key! 🗝️😄 #SneakyButStylish"

being, book, details, dumb, dumb shit, humor, important, important details, life, open, open book, overshare, people, person, private, private person, secret, shit, tell, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share → : I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.
2 weeks ago
Share → : My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.
5 months ago
Share → : My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.
2 weeks ago
Share → : OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
2 weeks ago
Share → : All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.
Jan 24, 2025
Share → : Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?
Jan 23, 2025
Share → : In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.
2 months ago
Share → : The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

51 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Just landed via Telegram:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Live now on Reddit:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Making waves on Threads:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Breaking via Twitch:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

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