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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Spotted on Reddit:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Going viral on Slack:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Just shared via Messenger:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Spotted on Instagram:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

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The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.
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Commentary:
"Sounds like a classic case of 'Bi-yourself' – the ultimate dilemma of being attracted to both men and women, but ending up with no one interested in return! 😅💔 Remember, it's better to be 'Bi-yourself' than to compromise who you are for anyone else! 🌈 #LoveYourself"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

73 shares on WeChat this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

51 shares on Discord this month:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

20 shares on X this month:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Just shared via X:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Making waves on Twitch:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Just landed via Facebook:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Live now on YouTube:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Spotted on Twitch:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

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