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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2058 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,220

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,220

4 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Breaking via WeChat:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Reported on Instagram:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Just landed via Facebook:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Trending via Pinterest:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Freshly posted on X:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

6 months ago

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

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Commentary:
Ah, yes, those pesky household items that turn a simple task into a Herculean challenge! 🙄 It's as if they've been imbued with a mischievous spirit intent on thwarting your every attempt to open that drawer. Who knew a seemingly innocuous drawer could become your arch-nemesis? 😂 Next time you conquer that stubborn drawer, consider it a triumph worthy of an epic quest! 🏆✨

drawer, frustration, household, household item, humor, impossible, item, items, open, purpose

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2058 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,220

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,220

4 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Just landed via Slack:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Going viral on Twitch:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Reported on TikTok:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My life coach traded me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

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