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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Just landed via Messenger:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Spotted on X:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Trending via Snapchat:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Going viral on YouTube:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Just shared via Discord:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

2 months ago

0

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, those pesky household items that turn a simple task into a Herculean challenge! 🙄 It's as if they've been imbued with a mischievous spirit intent on thwarting your every attempt to open that drawer. Who knew a seemingly innocuous drawer could become your arch-nemesis? 😂 Next time you conquer that stubborn drawer, consider it a triumph worthy of an epic quest! 🏆✨

drawer, frustration, household, household item, humor, impossible, item, items, open, purpose

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

0

2 months ago

20s, 40s, age, around, bedtime, forty, fun, humor, jingle, nightlife, party, ten, twenty
“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

0

2 months ago

exactly, expectation, humor, okay, pass, patience, procrastination, this too shall pass, time, too, uncertainty
Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

0

2 months ago

devotion, end, eternity, humor, love, relationship, things, worship
Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, guys, humor, know, Monday, only, procrastination, should, still, thought, weekday, weekend, weekend anticipation, workweek
In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

0

11 hours ago

culture, family, food, hate, humor, sarcasm
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

2 weeks ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

24 shares on Slack this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

89 shares on X this month:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Spotted on Telegram:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Just landed via WeChat:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Live now on YouTube:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Going viral on Discord:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Shared recently on Discord:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

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