Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Trending via TikTok:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Just shared via Threads:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Seen just now on Threads:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Trending via Instagram:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Making waves on YouTube:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is it coming on foot with time travel powers? Waiting for my 2017 self to be surprised! 📦⏳😂

2017, delayed, delayed delivery, delivery, Etsy, humor, i, online, online shopping, patience, purchase, shipping, shopping, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

0

3 weeks ago

addicted, addiction, day, eating, food, food habit, habit, humor, meal, reptile
It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

0

2 months ago

admit, annoyance, humidity, humor, irony, language, me, people, word, wrong, wrong word
At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

0

3 weeks ago

day, end, humor, identity, independence, just, me, reflection, self, solitude
Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

0

2 months ago

activity, binge-watching, casual, casual date, chicken, chicken nugget, comfort, comfort food, date, food, fun, fun activity, humor, Netflix, nugget, snack
“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

0

2 months ago

desire, exaggeration, food, garlic, humor, love, much, next, romance, sarcasm, too
Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

0

2 months ago

bottle, childhood, drop, humor, nostalgia, parents, phone, school, snacks, survival, us, used, water, water bottle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Spotted on TikTok:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Shared recently on Threads:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Just landed via Slack:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Just landed via YouTube:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨