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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Going bananas on Telegram:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Freshly posted on Slack:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Trending via Facebook:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Trending via Snapchat:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Making waves on Reddit:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Making waves on Twitch:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Time to 'take out' any drama and let the bins shine tomorrow! 🗑️✨😂"

humor, picked, picked up, ready, reminder, responsibility, tomorrow, trash

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, hr, humor, mistake, office, personality, real, today, truth, used, work
Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

0

2 months ago

culture, entertainment, Europeans, humor, lot, read, shows, stereotypes, suck, television
Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

0

2 months ago

behavior, boredom, clicking, feel, humor, internet, just, link, office, office humor, online, online behavior, risk-taking, something, suspicious, suspicious link, work
Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

0

5 months ago

age, aging, blurry, encounter, everything, eyesight, hearing, humor, loud, middle, middle age, too, welcome
Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

ahead, attitude, big, cheeky, day, got, humor, middle, morning, motivation, sarcasm, sarcasm humor, sleep, tomorrow, well
Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

0

2 months ago

asked, attitude, frustration, humor, i, me, motivation, rebellious, reluctance, sarcasm, teen, teenager, teens, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

My life coach traded me.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

95 shares on X this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Just landed via Facebook:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Just landed via Messenger:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Shared recently on X:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Making waves on WeChat:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Spotted on Slack:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Going viral on TikTok:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨