Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,233

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Trending via YouTube:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, looks like I'm Santa in training year-round! 🎅🛍️🎁

buy, gift, gifts, liked, mention, once, people, urge

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

0

5 months ago

board, decor, fear, home, home decor, house, humor, marriage, Pinterest, relationship, scary, want
When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

0

2 months ago

carbs, childhood, diet, eat, food, humor, i, kid, noodles, only, pasta, point, still, today
Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

0

2 months ago

better, better looking, confidence, happier, humor, looking, media, people, posts, self-promotion, show, smarter, social, social media, study
Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

0

2 months ago

crash, fail, feel, half, hope, humor, i, incompetence, job, live, next, once, perspective, planet, remember, software, software update, someone, tech, tech fail, time, update, workplace
I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

0

4 months ago

back, dream, finish, napping, person, personality, sleep, try, type
Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

0

2 months ago

acting, again, awards, drama, humor, i, life, morning, nomination, once, Oscar, performance, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on X this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

These aliens are taking forever.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

17 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Seen just now on Threads:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Trending via Twitch:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Seen just now on Threads:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨