The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

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Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

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Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

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Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

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They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

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People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

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Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

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The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

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Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

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My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

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It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.