Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Just landed via Facebook:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Going viral on Twitch:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Shared recently on X:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Just shared via TikTok:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Live now on Messenger:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Trending via Messenger:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you mix too many morons, you end up with a critical mass of hilarity 🤦‍♂️🤣🔬

chemistry, electron, electrons, humor, joke, moron, neutron, neutrons, proton, protons, science, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

2 months ago

around, bit, entertainment, flight, fly, humor, movie, notification, pick, pilot, time, travel
Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

2 months ago

alcohol, double, drink, end, forget, humor, me, memory, relationship, seeing
Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

5 months ago

bowling, footwear, humor, normal, shoe, wordplay
I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

6 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, bumblebee, convinced, cute, cuteness, fluffiness, fluffy, humor, myself, persuasion, self, self persuasion, sting, too
It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

1 month ago

day, fitness, gym, humor, joke, leg, leg day, misunderstanding, self-care, shaving
Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

2 months ago

activity, back, backwards, conspiracy, day, discover, fun, fun activity, listen, music, nostalgia, record, theory, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on X this month:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

44 shares on X this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Breaking via Threads:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Just shared via Reddit:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via Slack:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨