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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

22 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Making waves on Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Just landed via Discord:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Reported on Telegram:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Trending via Reddit:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Just landed via Twitch:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

5 months ago

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the real tragedy of forgetting about Dre – Grandpa missed out on bopping his head to the beats and dropping it like it's hot 🎧🕺 Who knew memory loss could be so dis-Dre-ssing! Keep the chronic memories alive, folks! 😂"

dementia, Dre, family, forget, grandfather, humor, irony, memory, watching, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

22 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Trending via Slack:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Breaking via WhatsApp:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Going viral on Telegram:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Live now on X:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Making waves on X:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Going viral on Twitch:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

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