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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Trending via YouTube:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Going viral on X:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Just shared via Instagram:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

0
The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the real tragedy of forgetting about Dre – Grandpa missed out on bopping his head to the beats and dropping it like it's hot 🎧🕺 Who knew memory loss could be so dis-Dre-ssing! Keep the chronic memories alive, folks! 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

30 shares on Threads this month:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Breaking via Threads:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Oh good. Another day.

Live now on Pinterest:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Going viral on Telegram:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Seen just now on Telegram:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Just landed via WeChat:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Live now on WeChat:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

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