Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Spotted on X:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Going bananas on Threads:

Have you tried complaining about it?

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Uh oh, looks like your frenemies are about to psychoanalyze your coffee order ☕️🧠😂

humor, know, person, psychology, studying, worst, Worst Person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

0

2 months ago

big, communication, humor, man, relationship, silent, thinker, trouble, woman
Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

0

2 months ago

comedy, critique, entertainment, fast, Fast and Furious, film, furious, humor, making, movie, sarcastic, stop
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

5 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

0

2 months ago

age, explode, humor, loud, men, sneeze, sound
I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

0

5 months ago

hear, humor, luck, lucky, mind, people, secret, thinking, thought
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

0

2 months ago

activity, combination, crunch, exercise, favorite, fitness, food, humor, joke, lunch, lunge

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

40 shares on X this month:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Just landed via Slack:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Making waves on X:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Making waves on Discord:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨