Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Spotted on YouTube:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Seen just now on X:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Shared recently on Discord:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Apparently, my therapist just graduated to genius levels! 🤣🧠💡

humor, intelligence, IQ, only, psychology, therapist, therapy, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, age, call, humor, identity, just, me, minute, name, self-deprecation, someone, whatever, where, wrong, wrong name
Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

0

4 months ago

challenge, crisis, daily, daily life, daily struggle, day, every, humor, life, life challenge, mid-day, mid-day crisis, mid-life, mid-life crisis, midday, midlife, something, struggle
Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

0

2 months ago

confrontation, driving, feel, frustration, highway, humor, let, me, merge, power, powerful, traffic
Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

0

2 months ago

commitment, engagement, getting, humor, just, love, marriage, married, need, relationship, soon, spouse, wedding
No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

0

2 months ago

confidence, downfall, humor, i, involvement, longer, prayer, praying, sarcasm, teasing
There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

0

2 months ago

every, humor, i, perspective, sarcasm, screenshots, sides, story, storytelling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

95 shares on Reddit this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

37 shares on Slack this month:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Going viral on WeChat:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Breaking via WeChat:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Live now on Threads:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Going bananas on Discord:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Spotted on X:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨