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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

45 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Going viral on WeChat:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Breaking via Messenger:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Just shared via Reddit:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Just shared via Discord:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Reported on Pinterest:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Live now on Snapchat:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

6 months ago

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we've got a social butterfly in the making here! 🦋🎉 After-work events, you say? Sounds like a fine balance between being productive during the day and letting loose at night! 🌃💼 Let's just hope those "activities" don't involve too many trust falls… or mandatory karaoke sessions! 🙈🎤 Enjoy the benefits of combining work and play, my friend!

activity, after, after work, benefit, event, fun, here, social, social event, work, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

45 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Going viral on Reddit:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Making waves on Slack:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Making waves on Threads:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Shared recently on TikTok:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

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