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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Just shared via Reddit:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Trending via YouTube:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Breaking via Instagram:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Trending via Messenger:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Shared recently on Facebook:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Live now on LinkedIn:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

There’s a certain nothing about you.

3 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about someone’s elusive charm, with a humorous and witty tone.

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You're like a blank canvas, ready to be painted with potential! 🎨😄

certain, humor, insult, nothing, personality, sarcasm, wit

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36 shares on Threads this month:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Just landed via Facebook:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨