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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Just shared via Twitch:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Going viral on TikTok:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Live now on TikTok:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Trending via Telegram:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Trending via Slack:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

2 months ago

0

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to decipher a Chinese proverb written in Chinese feels like unraveling a secret code without the decoder! 🤔🇨🇳 Maybe it's a profound wisdom about the benefits of ordering takeout instead of attempting DIY translations! 🥡😄 #LostinTranslation"

ancient, Chinese, confusion, famous, humor, i, idea, language, proverb

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

0

4 weeks ago

allowed, bot, bots, call, dear, greeting, humor, me, message, Nigeria, only, scam
Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

0

2 months ago

comfort, companionship, everyone, food, friendship, humor, irony, lettuce, sad, sadness, sugar, support, sure, things, why, wrong
Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

0

2 months ago

acting, avoiding, avoiding talk, busy, conversation, coworker, i, life, personal, personal life, something, talk, tell, today, wants, workplace
I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

0

2 months ago

cardio, exercise, fitness, frustration, humor, i, need, patience, running
Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

0

5 months ago

away, girls, i, me, need, period, stay
Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

0

2 months ago

cure, depression, financial, financial freedom, freedom, happiness, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, million, money, thing, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Trending via YouTube:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Going viral on Messenger:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Just shared via Discord:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Trending via LinkedIn:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Making waves on X:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

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