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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Seen just now on X:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Just landed via Reddit:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Just shared via Messenger:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Going viral on WeChat:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Witty quote about seeking validation, highlighting humor with a playful tone.
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Commentary:
Who needs a diary when you can overshare online and get that sweet, sweet validation? 📓🤳😁

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Making waves on Messenger:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Shared recently on X:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Just shared via Threads:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Spotted on Instagram:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Trending via Telegram:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Live now on Pinterest:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

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