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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Making waves on YouTube:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Live now on X:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Trending via Reddit:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Trending via Telegram:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Making waves on TikTok:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.
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Commentary:
Who needs a diary when you can overshare online and get that sweet, sweet validation? 📓🤳😁

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Just shared via Threads:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Going viral on Reddit:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Making waves on Slack:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Making waves on WeChat:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Spotted on X:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Shared recently on Discord:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Live now on Threads:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Trending via Pinterest:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

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