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Commentary:
"Who do they think I am, a robot? 🤖💼 Apparently, they expect me to do more than just perfect my desk-sitting technique at work. How demanding! 😅 #WorkLife"

expectation, humor, irony, me, office, productivity, sarcasm, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

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4 days ago

event, global, global event, humor, i, irony, pandemic, survival, think
I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

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2 months ago

entertainment, humor, irony, leisure, much, product, self-deprecating, supervision, television, too, zero
Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

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2 months ago

body, body positivity, call, calls, confidence, eat, fat, food, humor, positivity, sarcasm, someone, too, want, whatever
Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

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2 months ago

activity, cake, celebration, fun, fun activity, going, humor, important, important things, life, me, things, wedding
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

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5 months ago

advice, caffeine, coffee, energy, good, health, hear, humor, i, know, much, needs, warning
Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

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2 months ago

couple, daily, daily life, day, every, exactly, excuse, expectation, humor, i, late, life, past, routine, sorry, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

90 shares on X this month:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Just shared via TikTok:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Making waves on YouTube:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Just landed via Instagram:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Seen just now on Threads:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Just landed via TikTok:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Going viral on Facebook:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They expect me to work at work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨