Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.
  • Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.
  • How do I un-know people?
  • Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?
  • Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.
  • Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.