Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Trending via Threads:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Spotted on Discord:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Going viral on Instagram:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Trending via Pinterest:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Trending via Slack:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the yard's out of milkshake flavor! 🍦🚫🌿

childhood, food, humor, just, memory, milkshake, nostalgia, put, used, yard

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

0

2 months ago

coming, ever, humor, just, nature, observation, slow, snail, surprise, wit
Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

0

2 months ago

beer, humor, job, jobs, leisure, people, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, weed
Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

0

2 months ago

break, day, done, humor, job, just, over, productivity, quitting, today, work
It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

0

2 months ago

cremated, exaggeration, going, heat, hot, humor, i, joke, summer, temperature, thought, today
I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, baby, confusion, greasing, humor, i, oil, parenting
We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

0

2 months ago

craving, donut, errands, humor, i, last, need, needs, relationship, run, snack, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on X this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

24 shares on X this month:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

37 shares on X this month:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Breaking via Messenger:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Trending via Instagram:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Trending via Discord:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Seen just now on Discord:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨