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Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,793

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Trending via Reddit:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Live now on Snapchat:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Just shared via X:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Seen just now on X:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Going viral on Slack:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make a biopic about the guy who bought them 🍋🎬😂

biography, biopic, guy, humor, just, movie, random, random guy, satire, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

1 month ago

bed, bedtime, call, cop, cops, event, humor, i, joke, own, party, ready, sleep, social, social event
On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

4 months ago

again, coworker, credit, hr, humor, joke, Mastercard, nickname, office, office humor, sarcasm, take, work, workplace
My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

1 month ago

advice, Alexa, bathe, family, humor, just, nephew, okay, questions, technology, toaster, told
The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

1 month ago

efficiency, employment, ethic, humor, lesson, me, office, office humor, productivity, taught, work, work ethic, workload, workplace, workplace humor
Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

1 month ago

activity, cancellation, delight, humor, others, plans, rain, upset, upsetting, weather
My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

2 months ago

activity, eat, favorite, food, humor, pose, sandwich, where, yoga

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Just shared via Threads:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Shared recently on Threads:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Shared recently on Threads:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

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Activity Log ✨

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

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They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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