Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Trending via Pinterest:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Spotted on Snapchat:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Trending via Facebook:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Making waves on Twitch:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Going viral on Slack:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Just shared via Discord:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make a biopic about the guy who bought them 🍋🎬😂

biography, biopic, guy, humor, just, movie, random, random guy, satire, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

2 months ago

computer, dark, dark mode, feel, humor, me, mode, screen, screen time, screens, staring, sun, technology, time, white, white screen
Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

2 months ago

arms, baby, betrayal, disappointment, else, emotional, holding, humor, humor quote, loyalty, put, relationship, someone, trust
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

2 months ago

activity, annoy, humor, long walk, me, people, sarcasm, walk
The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

2 months ago

autocorrect, death, died, humor, joke, man, peace, restaurant, wordplay
I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

2 months ago

again, confidence, failure, falling, humor, irony, mission, repetition, sarcasm, success, successful, times
If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

2 months ago

arts, Dodo, extinct, fu, humor, kung, Kung-Fu, kwon, martial, martial arts, Panda, parody, tae, Tae Kwon, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

All I think about is death and sex.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Going viral on Slack:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Just landed via X:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Going viral on Messenger:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Breaking via Threads:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨