Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Breaking via X:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Going viral on Threads:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Breaking via Reddit:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Just shared via Telegram:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life hands you plot twists, just shrug, nod, and grab some popcorn for the next episode 🍿🤔🤷‍♀️

attitude, called, casual, casual attitude, chapter, guess, humor, i, indifference, life, life chapter, ok, uncertainty, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, bank, humor, i, just, money, motivation, robbery
I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

0

2 months ago

age, good, growing, growing up, high, high school, i, memory, mom, never, news, nostalgia, relationships, remember, school, time, where
Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, drug, enough, existential, God, high, humor, humor quote, satire, spirituality, stay, think, tuned
Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, difficulty, early, easy, going, problem, problems, routine, set, sleep, sleep difficulty, sleep problem, struggle, whole
The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

0

2 weeks ago

after, aging, commute, drive, driving, extra, hate, home, house, hurry, i, late, making, older, stop, work
Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

0

5 months ago

apple, autocorrect, communication, ever, hell, humor, i, language, point, someone, text, texting, typo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Discord this month:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Trending via YouTube:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Going bananas on Reddit:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Spotted on Twitch:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Going viral on Discord:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Just shared via Discord:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨