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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Spotted on Instagram:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Making waves on Messenger:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Just landed via Discord:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about a family confidently wearing clothes fresh from laundry, playful and witty vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize laundry is actually an endlessly repeating cycle of betrayal 😂🧺🌀

after, clothes, family, household, humor, i, just, laundry, lot, nerve, sarcasm

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

56 shares on YouTube this month:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Live now on Twitch:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

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Activity Log ✨

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨