This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you a software update, because not now!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.