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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Live now on Twitch:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Going viral on Telegram:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Reported on Pinterest:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Reported on WeChat:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending via Messenger:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Making waves on Telegram:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Live now on Slack:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like Hansel and Gretel better have some good home insurance! 🏠🚒🧯 #NotUpToCode"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Spotted on Discord:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Live now on Threads:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Reported on Discord:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Breaking via Telegram:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Just landed via Telegram:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

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