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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Going viral on Telegram:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Going viral on Twitch:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mondays be doing overtime this week 😂☕ #MondayMadness

before, frustration, humor, Monday, never, repetition, weekday, workday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

0

2 months ago

around, humor, patience, patience test, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation, something, test, too, witnesses
I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

0

2 months ago

control, disappointment, even, humor, i, remote, remote control, sad, universal, universal remote, universe
Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

0

2 months ago

blink, blinking, counting, eye, funny question, humor, i, impatience, joke, ok, passing, question, time, time passing, times
Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, activity, casual, day, doing, doing everything, doing nothing, everything, free, free day, fun, fun activity, knows, leisure, nothing, relaxation, rest, Saturday, weekend
If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

0

3 days ago

birthday, communication, full, full name, humor, i, ID, name, question, relationship, text, things, wife
More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

0

2 months ago

danger, danger sign, dangerous, expression, lion, power, roar, sign, silence, silent, strength, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Discord this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

60 shares on X this month:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

31 shares on X this month:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Spotted on Slack:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Freshly posted on X:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Trending via Messenger:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Seen just now on Slack:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Spotted on Instagram:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Spotted on Slack:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨