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Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

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Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

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Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

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Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

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Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

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I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

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Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

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Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

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I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

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When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?