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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

21 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Spotted on Facebook:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Reported on YouTube:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Trending via Threads:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Shared recently on X:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Spotted on Twitch:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Breaking via Messenger:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

6 months ago

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶 "Everybody dance now, to the rhythm of Himalayan Sea Salt! 💃🧂 Let those taste buds groove to the exotic beats of minerals from the highest peaks! 🏔️🌊 Who knew salt could be so fancy and fabulous? Just sprinkle a little hipness into your dishes and turn your kitchen into a culinary dance party! 🎉🍽️"

dance, food, fun, Himalayan, humor, parody, salt, sea, sea salt, song, tune

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

21 minutes ago

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Reddit:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Reported on Reddit:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Going viral on WeChat:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Trending via Reddit:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Just shared via Reddit:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Making waves on Discord:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

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