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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Just landed via YouTube:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Trending via Pinterest:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Trending via Reddit:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Just landed via Telegram:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Just shared via YouTube:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Making waves on Twitch:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Trending via X:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

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Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.
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Commentary:
📚🎨 Do you long for some peace and quiet in this noisy world? Look no further than "The Art of Silence" by the enigmatic Chinese philosopher Shut-Up! Let the wisdom of silence speak volumes to your soul… or maybe just shush those chatty inner voices! 😉 #ShhWisely

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

39 shares on Twitch this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re so productive for your wage.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You only live once and thank God for that.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Breaking via Messenger:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Spotted on Facebook:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Going bananas on Discord:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Just landed via Pinterest:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Going viral on YouTube:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

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