Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Going viral on X:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Seen just now on TikTok:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Just landed via X:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Spotted on Instagram:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Spotted on Twitch:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the ghosts are feeling beefy! 🐄🌪️ Better moooo-ve out of the way and let them ghostly cow warriors settle their beef! 😄👻

cow, fight, fighting, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, just, nature, over, tornado

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

0

2 months ago

auto, auto mechanic, car, car repair, cardiologist, doctor, fancy, funny question, humor, joke, mechanic, medical, name, profession, question, repair
When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

0

2 months ago

drain, energy, energy drain, fat, fatigue, humor, humor quote, life, motivation, people, sarcasm, self-care, should, suck, take, too, witty
It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

0

2 months ago

April, day, internet, only, people, read, sad, stuff
Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

0

5 months ago

advice, cool, disappointment, expectation, humor, interaction, people, personality, recipe, social, social interaction, stop
Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

0

2 months ago

downhill, follower, followers, here, humor, media, new, sarcasm, social, social media, welcome
I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

0

5 months ago

bro, cat, cats, chatty, conversation, humor, i, love, meow, pet, right

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Trending via WeChat:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Trending via WhatsApp:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Trending via YouTube:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Just shared via TikTok:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Just landed via Reddit:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Trending via Threads:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨