Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who has time for double ringing in this day and age? 📫💨 One ring and they're outta there! Maybe the postman should try speed dial next time. 📞😆 #RingOnceAndRun #PostOfficePranks"

always, delivery, guys, humor, joke, know, leave, movie, movie title, postman, ring, rings, title, twice, unrealistic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, bedtime, discomfort, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, i, insomnia, relatable, sleep, sore, sore back, terrible, tiredness, wait, wake
Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

0

2 months ago

actually, behavior, communication, doing, just, men, most, motivation, stereotype, talk, things, want
Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

0

2 months ago

careful, follow, humor, irony, masses, silent
“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

0

2 months ago

always, gender, gender stereotype, God, humor, sarcasm, sleeping, stereotype, unconscious, wants, woman
I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

0

2 months ago

communication, corporate, frustration, humor, i, meant, microsoft, software, Teams, technology, work
Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

0

5 months ago

again, China, Chinese, Chinese food, culture, eating, food, girlfriend, got, humor, i, joke, relationship, repetition, sense, think, time, today, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

76 shares on Threads this month:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Seen just now on X:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Making waves on Reddit:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Spotted on WeChat:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨