Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who has time for double ringing in this day and age? 📫💨 One ring and they're outta there! Maybe the postman should try speed dial next time. 📞😆 #RingOnceAndRun #PostOfficePranks"

always, delivery, guys, humor, joke, know, leave, movie, movie title, postman, ring, rings, title, twice, unrealistic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

0

3 months ago

allowed, cicada, feels, frustration, humor, i, just, nature, relaxation, scream, should, sit, tree
Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

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3 months ago

challenge, couple, driving, humor, parallel, parallel parking, parking, relationship, relationships, stress, test, tested, true, where
I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

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2 months ago

friendship, friendship humor, friendship loyalty, going, good, humor, i, keep, loyalty, storage, Tupperware
I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

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2 months ago

book, books, brood, built, castle, humor, introvert, procrastination, reading, unread, unread book, work
“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

0

5 months ago

Amtrak, customer, customer service, humor, joke, Monopoly, problem, service, thank, train, transportation, travel
If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

0

2 months ago

always, cold, conspiracy, humor, little, lizard, lizard person, office, people, person, working, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

65 shares on X this month:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Spotted on Facebook:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Just shared via Messenger:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Trending via Discord:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Breaking via Telegram:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Making waves on Messenger:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Spotted on Threads:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Just shared via Twitch:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Just landed via Reddit:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨