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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Just shared via Telegram:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Just landed via Instagram:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Spotted on Facebook:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Making waves on YouTube:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Live now on Snapchat:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, shake what your mama gave you! 🍋💃😂"

behavior, dance, dancing, humor, others, reciprocity, social, social behavior, twerk

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22 shares on Facebook this month:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Just landed via Discord:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Breaking via Reddit:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Just landed via Slack:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Live now on Pinterest:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Going viral on Twitch:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Making waves on Instagram:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨