Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Trending via Telegram:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Just shared via X:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Breaking via Discord:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Making waves on Messenger:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Live now on TikTok:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Going bananas on TikTok:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Breaking via Telegram:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess it's time to turn up the thermostat on this looks game! 🔥😎

attractiveness, being, confidence, great, hotter, humor, just, life, problem, problems, unfortunately

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

0

2 months ago

activity, bike, childhood, device, fun, fun activity, i, kid, memory, mobile, mobile device, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor play, play, remember
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

0

2 months ago

communication, contact, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, telepathy, text, texting
What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

0

1 month ago

age, answering, around, curiosity, door, grow, home, house, humor, i, knocking, sneaking
Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

0

2 months ago

affection, babe, communication, humor, humor quote, moved, mysterious, mystery, okay, playful, relationship, romance, ways
I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

0

2 months ago

again, cycle, day, every, habits, i, late, morning, next, night, over, procrastination, regret, repeat, routine, sleep, stay
Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

0

2 months ago

beer, beverage, big, humor, joke, knows, lady, letting, me, missing, next, pool, pregnancy, pregnant, relaxation, social, summer, taking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

27 shares on Slack this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

77 shares on X this month:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Just landed via TikTok:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Going viral on Threads:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Trending via Discord:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Breaking via TikTok:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨