Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.