Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic village math problem: 2 kids + playtime = 6 hungry tummies! 🤔👦👧👦👧👦👧 Hungry or not, these kids definitely know how to multiply faster than any calculator! 🍴😂 #VillageLife #HungryKids"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

0

17 hours ago

current, current event, event, humor, irony, life, living, modern, modern life, phrase, phrase play, play, precedented, precedented time, through, time, times
I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

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2 months ago

dinner, door, family, give, humor, i, independence, kids, McDonald’s, me, money, nostalgia, own, parenting, place, say, visits, wait
How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

0

2 months ago

authority, boss, even, guy, humor, i, just, know, skepticism, trust, word, workplace
Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

0

2 months ago

alternate, chop, cry, human, humans, humor, know, onion, onions, universe, where
I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, Christmas light, human, human version, humor, light, lights, mess, personality, tangled, version
Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

0

2 months ago

activity, book, boredom, clicking, empty, every, funny activity, next, observation, page, sitting, stopwatch, time, train, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Threads this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

48 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

45 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

79 shares on X this month:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Spotted on Facebook:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Just landed via Discord:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Just landed via Messenger:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨