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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Just landed via Discord:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Making waves on TikTok:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to let my coffee handle all my excessive thinking today! ☕🤔🌀

going, humor, motivation, overthink, procrastination, thinking, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

2 months ago
heartache, humor, irony, love, pain, relationship, same, something, sweet, thing, toothache
My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

1 month ago
am, group, health, here, humor, i, mental, mental health, self-help, should, support, take, talk, therapist, therapy
A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

1 month ago
advice, bad, bad time, good, humor, just, listening, none, partner, relationship, sarcasm, side, support, tell, time, times
I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

1 month ago
bathroom, double, humor, i, navigating, need, night, stunt
Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

1 month ago
addiction, back, change, comparison, dating, days, humor, relationship, trust
Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

2 months ago
follow, humor, Instagram, irony, me, media, nothing, post, social, social media, want, weeks

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Shared recently on Discord:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Breaking via Threads:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Just landed via Facebook:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Just landed via Slack:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Going bananas on Slack:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Seen just now on X:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

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Activity Log ✨

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

I’ve disappointed better people.

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

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Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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