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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Going bananas on Threads:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Going viral on TikTok:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

2 months ago

0

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's skip the amateur hour and dive straight into the MENSA-level conspiracy game, shall we? 🧠🕵️‍♂️ Who needs Area 51 when you can have Area 404 – where all the truly ingenious theories go to hide 😏🛸 #ConspiracyTheoryConnoisseur"

absurdity, around, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, floating, give, high, humor, intelligence, IQ, low, me, satire, theory, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

0

2 months ago

good, health, humor, Ka-Ching, mental, mental health, money, saying, sign, signs, therapist, therapy, wealth
I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

0

2 months ago

budgeting, days, done, finance, get by, humor, i, management, math, money, month, time, time management
Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

0

2 months ago

adventure, choice, choose, decision, decision making, free, free will, humor, irony, making, own, regret, where
The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

0

2 months ago

biting, diet, humor, idiot, idiots, just, sarcasm, tongue
If love is the answer then what was the question?

0

2 months ago

answer, humor, irony, love, question, relationship, wit
I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

0

2 months ago

clothes, describe, fashion, floor, humor, i, mess, personal, pile, style, top, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

20 shares on X this month:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

87 shares on X this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

48 shares on Slack this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Breaking via Facebook:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Seen just now on Threads:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Shared recently on Reddit:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

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