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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks itโ€™s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Donโ€™t pretend to be someone youโ€™re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, itโ€™s a felony.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santaโ€™s lap. Hard to believe itโ€™s been a whole year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. Iโ€™m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on X:

โ€œThose tattoos will make it harder to get a job!โ€ Okay, well so will my personality.

Trending via Twitch:

Iโ€™m not good at solving Pi, but Iโ€™m really good at eating it.

Shared recently on Slack:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Happiness is an inside job.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Making waves on WeChat:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Just shared via Slack:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Just shared via X:

Introducing WifeChatโ„ข, the app where you talk to your wife.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sure, Iโ€™m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Just shared via Discord:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Playful text about inventing a term for ChatGPT users, humorously provocative and witty.
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Commentary:
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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Itโ€™s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

39 shares on X this month:

McDonaldโ€™s will โ€œanything elseโ€ you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I donโ€™t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

16 shares on X this month:

Sometimes itโ€™s not a secret, itโ€™s just none of your business.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If youโ€™re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchiโ€™s health.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sorry Iโ€™m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The most important thing I learned in life, and I canโ€™t stress enough, it doesnโ€™t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that youโ€™re really hot.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Slack:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Thatโ€™s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Women will be like โ€œI know a spot,โ€ and then take you directly to hell.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I think youโ€™re like the catโ€™s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Breaking via Pinterest:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I wonโ€™t do it again. And then would you believe.

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