Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Just landed via Instagram:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Spotted on Messenger:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Live now on Pinterest:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Going viral on X:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Going viral on TikTok:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

2 months ago

0

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic mistake of going to the grocery store hungry. Who needs a roof over their head when you've got a cart full of snacks, am I right? 💸🛒 #FoodOverRent"

budgeting, decisions, expenses, financial, financial decisions, food, grocery, grocery store, humor, hungry, i, month, need, pay, rent, shopping, store

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, Funny, got, growth, hot, humor, i, perfect, personal, personal growth, self, self-confidence, transformation, twenty, ugly
I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

0

2 months ago

Banjo, Chandelier, humor, influencer, Instagram, kid, kids, mom, name, parenting, Parmesan
Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

0

4 weeks ago

alone, concept, ever, everything, going, hard, hard way, humor, i, learned, networking, struggle
Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

0

5 months ago

avoidance, dealing, Elsa, feelings, freeze, frozen, humor, i, kingdom, level, respect
“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, available, bro, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, overthinking, thinking, type
Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

0

2 months ago

chaos, confusion, gathering, humor, jumping, me, mental, mind, struggle, thought, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Slack this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

93 shares on Twitch this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My recliner and I go way back.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Making waves on Threads:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Just shared via Threads:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴