Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal conundrum of youthful decisions immortalized in ink! 💸🤷‍♂️ Lesson learned: always think twice before getting that tattoo… or managing a sum of money! 😆 #InkRegrets

age, decision, humor, i, mean, means, money, regret, spending, tattoo, trust, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, before, conduct, digital, digital interaction, exit, exit interview, humor, i, interaction, interview, me, media, online, online humor, pretty, social, social media, someone, unfollow
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

0

3 weeks ago

before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting
Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

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2 months ago

2, communication, dating, DM, DMs, humor, issue, joke, maybe, messaging, months, relationship, tech, tech issue, working
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

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2 months ago

distraction, humor, i, insomnia, internet, late, late night, night, people, sleep, technology
Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

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4 days ago

air, attention, awkward, bashful, blinking, dirt, getting, gun, humor, interaction, shoe, shooting, shy, social, social interaction
My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

0

2 months ago

beer, believe, bring, communication, complaint, humor, i, joke, lazy, me, relationship, say, text, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

96 shares on Discord this month:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

47 shares on Threads this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Going viral on Threads:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Just shared via Threads:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Just shared via WeChat:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Going viral on Telegram:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨