What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.