Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Breaking via Slack:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Going viral on Threads:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Trending via YouTube:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Seen just now on X:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Making waves on Messenger:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Just landed via TikTok:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, my sense of humor just reached supervillain status! 😂🦹‍♂️

adversity, dark, dark humor, humor, kill, resilience, sense, survival, twisted, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

3 months ago

attachment, i, last, lover, morning, night, phone, relationship, routine, technology, thing, wake
I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

2 months ago

animal, eagle, food, humor, i, me, pet, sandwich, steal, training, want
I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

2 months ago

after, checkmate, drinking, hours, humor, i, Jesus, joke, turn, water, wine
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

2 months ago

AI, coming, future, humor, i, irony, jobs, love, technology, unemployed, unemployment, workforce
No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

4 weeks ago

engineer, humor, job, job title, joke, prompt, prompt engineer, sloperator, title, wordplay
Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

2 months ago

change, humor, i, idiot, miss, nostalgia, only, people, simplicity, society, sometimes, time, village

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Avocado is just green butter.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Trending via Reddit:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Shared recently on Slack:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Just landed via Facebook:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Seen just now on X:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨