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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Making waves on Threads:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Just shared via TikTok:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Trending via YouTube:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Just landed via X:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Medusa's just an overzealous art curator! 🗿🔍🙈"

actually, ancient, ancient art, ancient Greece, art, greece, greek, Greek sculpture, humor, Medusa, myth, mythology, sculpture

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, just, lucky, relationship, response, single, someone
Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

0

2 months ago

call, came, humor, i, joke, paradox, time, time traveler, today, traveler, yesterday
Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

0

2 months ago

another, communication, email, expectations, hell, humor, irony, me, patience, procrastination, ridiculous, wait, waiting, weeks
Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

0

2 months ago

feelings, humor, i, lot, plan, planned, relationship, surprise
AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

0

2 months ago

abuse, Airbnb, experience, filled, financial, financial abuse, fun, humor, lodging, rules, stranger, travel, want
Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

0

2 months ago

activity, confidence, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, mean, music, self-expression, sing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

14 shares on X this month:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

65 shares on X this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

90 shares on X this month:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

59 shares on Telegram this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Trending via Slack:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Making waves on TikTok:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Making waves on Twitch:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Live now on Messenger:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨