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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Itโ€™s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ainโ€™t nobody else like me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

I donโ€™t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before youโ€™re finished your shower.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Itโ€™s funny how when youโ€™re at work, โ€œGo to hellโ€ comes out as โ€œNo problem.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Reddit:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Donโ€™t let anyone treat you like a red flag, youโ€™re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Just landed via Threads:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. Itโ€™s called a plastic surgeon.

Shared recently on Threads:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Shared recently on X:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Spotted on Threads:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

What part of โ€œhiiiโ€ do you not get? Iโ€™m in love with you.

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What part of โ€œhiiiโ€ do you not get? Iโ€™m in love with you.
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Commentary:
When you say "hiii," and they're just cluelessly saying "hi" back ๐Ÿ˜…โœจ๐Ÿ’Œ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅ‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

29 shares on Facebook this month:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you havenโ€™t seen in months.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is โ€œone guy and his henchmenโ€?

12 shares on Slack this month:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

67 shares on Threads this month:

I read all your bumper stickers and now weโ€™re both stupid.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Adding โ€œFree HBOโ€ to your dating profile isnโ€™t the game changer youโ€™d think itโ€™d be.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Math is like Chinese to me.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesnโ€™t talk to you.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I donโ€™t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Donโ€™t invite me if thereโ€™s nowhere to sit down.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isnโ€™t enough.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you donโ€™t want one.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I donโ€™t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

I donโ€™t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks Iโ€™m dumb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

I donโ€™t get vegetables on my pizza because I donโ€™t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Telegram:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I found E.T., I wouldโ€™ve developed his jump shot.

Trending via Facebook:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Just shared via Threads:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Seen just now on X:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Donโ€™t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Making waves on Telegram:

You can be under 25, just donโ€™t do it around me.

Spotted on Messenger:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Making waves on Instagram:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Trending via Discord:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

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